


abandon all reason, avoid all eye contact

by Midnight_Musings



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, I explain in the notes where and try to make sense of this, I put all warnings in the notes, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Secret Relationship, this is just fluffy misunderstandings and fun while trying to make them in character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-08 02:55:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11072601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnight_Musings/pseuds/Midnight_Musings
Summary: "What the heck is that?" he interrupted."What?" Edward and Jim said, almost in unison, turning toward him."On your neck, Nygma." Bullock paused. "Oh, Jesus. Is that a love bite?"Jim snapped his head back to Edward's direction who ran his fingers over the spot both men were now staring at.





	abandon all reason, avoid all eye contact

**Author's Note:**

> let's say that this takes place in a world where Oswald is king of Gotham's underworld but the GCPD have no reason to bring him in for shit, and Ed is still working at the GCPD and is dating Oswald. So this would be like Season One Ed with Season Three Oswald. And the stuff with Kringle never happened and leave me alone and let me write stuff that makes no sense and is happy....
> 
> (title taken from Burn the Witch by Radiohead)
> 
> WARNINGS:  
> \- Mentions of child abuse  
> \- References to alcohol and alcoholism  
> \- Mentions of hallucinations  
> \- Boarderline panic attack  
> \- References and mentions of self hatred  
> \- Mention of smoking  
> \- References to death  
> \- Occasional swearing

Edward Nygma had never been in love before. Yes, there was Miss Kringle. But she was a passing infatuation. What he had with Oswald was different. If Edward had been in love before, well, he would think that it felt like this.

Around a year ago,

_11 months and 30 days. One year tomorrow._

Oswald and Edward had started, dating.

_No._

That wasn't the right word, thought Ed. A relationship seemed better, more like them.

As far as everyone around them was aware, they had only met a handful of times, and no one would suspect anything. Those at the GCPD only spoke to Ed unless they had to, and the people who Oswald worked with didn't need to know.

Oswald had made it particularly clear he didn't want people knowing _anything_ about them.

* * *

It was past sunset when Ed finally arrived home.

_Could no one at that godforsaken station function properly._

Something was odd. Different.

The doors to backyard were open, the lights inside dimmed, and a delicious smell was wafting towards him from the outside.

He followed the scent and found the garden lights brightly lit, with Oswald sitting at a table laden with food, an empty chair opposite him.

“What have you done?” Ed laughed, nervously.

“Nothing, I just thought it was a nice evening, and we could sit out here a change.”

That did nothing to alleviate Edwards suspicions, but he sat down nonetheless.

As they ate, Edward questioned Oswald about his day, Edward complained about those at the GCPD.

 _I am just waiting for the day Harvey Bullock is_ _one_ _of those bodies in the morgue._

They joked and drank wine, but something still seemed. Off.

“You can't have gone through all this trouble just because it's a nice evening, Oswald. What's the catch?”

“Am I not allowed to do something nice for me boyfriend?” Oswald questioned.

Edward merely raised his eyebrows.

"All right fine!" Oswald said. "You've caught me. I do have something to say. My mother used to tell me that 'life only gives you one true love when you find it. Run to it'. What I'm getting at here is that, I mean to say. I love you, Edward. I don’t think I’ve said it to you before. But I do. "

Edward seemed to have forgotten to breathe while Oswald was speaking. He let out a long sigh.

"Of no use to one. Yet bliss to two. The small boy gets it for nothing, the young man has to lie for it, the old man has to buy it. The baby's right, the lover's privilege, the hypocrite's mask To the young girl, faith. To the married woman, hope. What am I?"

"What?" Oswald said, sounding utterly confused. "Are you, are you mocking me?"

"You are the only friend I've ever really had," Edward said softly. "And you are the only person who's ever really appreciated me. I'm very grateful for that. Love, Ossie. The answers love. I'm trying to say that I love you too."

Oswald shifted from his position in order to kiss Edward.

Deeply, softly, full of feeling. Emotion, all the things they should say. Will say. Can't say.

"I know it's difficult, with me, sometimes, but leave work early tomorrow. I'll take you somewhere nice." murmured Oswald against Edward's lips.

What happened next does not need to be detailed, but it did cause Edward to be so exhausted he overslept and was, almost, late for work.

* * *

All Edward had to do, was go into Gordon's office. Hand him the information he had found, and ask to leave early.

Nothing difficult about that. No one would care what Edward was up to. Ask why he needed to go. They wouldn't want to know.

He knocked on the office door.

"Come in."

Edward pushed it open, and of course, Harvey Bullock was in there.

He cleared his throat and handed Jim the files.

"Here's all the information I could gather with some other information you might find useful."

Jim nodded. "Thanks, Ed.'

"No riddle for us to solve in order to gain access, Nygma." huffed Bullock.

Edward ignored him.

"You won't need me for anything else, will you? I need to leave a little bit early today."

Jim looked up at him in surprise. "Oh, um. I don't think so. If we need-"

"What the heck is that?" Bullock interrupted.

"What?" Edward and Jim said, almost in unison, turning toward Harvey.

"On your neck, Nygma." Harvey paused. "Oh, Jesus. Is that a love bite?"

Jim snapped his head back to Edward's direction who ran his fingers over the spot both men were staring at.

He hadn't even realised. He had been in such a rush this morning and his sweater would have otherwise been covering anything if he hadn't removed it.

"Is that why you need to leave early? Nygma, you have a girlfriend?"

"Harvey, leave him alone. Thank you, Ed, you can leave early, and if we need anything I'll call."

"There were a few things I couldn't work out, yet. If I manage to solve them before I leave I'll let you know." Edward gave Jim a nod, ignored Harvey and left.

Not before hearing.

"Who the hell do you think it is?"

"Leave the kid alone, Harvey."

* * *

Oswald had stood him up.

He had left Edward waiting at the restaurant for half an hour, before calling him to say he had some work to do and then had the nerve to ask Oswald to go to the GCDP and get some information from him.

_So much for keeping their work lives separate._

He had practically stormed into the GCPD, but luckily he wasn't questioned by anyone. 

Edward made notes on the files Oswald had requested, shoving them into his bag, and then throwing said bag across the room, causing a rather loud noise.

Someone knocked on the door almost immediately after.

"Hello?" 

Edward recognised the voice of Lee Thompkins.

"Come in," Edward said, pulling out the files on the case Jim had been working on.

"Edward? I thought you left early tonight."

"Um, yes I did go, but I came back to try and figure out I'm missing with this case."

She tilted her head. "Did something happen Ed? You look a little, mad."

"I, uh, got stood up." Edward decided the honest route would be best. No point creating a lie, he had come back here for work. Oswald's request was just an added extra. He would have returned regardless.

"I'm sorry about that." replied Lee, sounding genuinely sympathetic.

"Oh, it's fine." Edward attempted to laugh the comment off. "Busy jobs can't be helped. I just wish one year anniversaries would have been an exception."

He realises that he probably shouldn't be saying these things.

It made him sound weak.

And in the corner of his eye, he could see him. The other Ed. With a voice so much like his fathers stirred in his head.

_Who's ever gonna love you boy. I could only last a few days before I got sick of you._

A faint taste of blood in his mouth.

Edward thought he could smell scotch.

"Mario and I were just about to go to dinner. You're welcome to join us," Lee's soft voice brought him back to the moment.

"No thank you, Lee, I really wouldn't want to intrude. Besides, I think I've almost figured out what I'm missing."

"If you're sure." she said. "But, try and finish up quickly, you look like you could use a break." 

Lee gave him one last smile before closing the door behind her. 

* * *

 "Did you even realise what day it is today?" Ed questioned.

"Tuesday?"

"It's our one year anniversary. I thought you'd have remembered."

"Fuck." said Oswald, rubbing his eyes. "Edward, I'm so sorry. Of course it is. I've been so busy lately I just."

He paused mid sentence and looked up at Ed. "Are you okay?"

Edward sighed. "I don't think I can stay here tonight."

Oswald stared at him. "Are you, are you ending, this?"

"No Ossie, I need a little space, to spend a couple days alone." This did nothing to lessen the look of worry and sadness in Oswald's eyes. "I'll come back on Friday, and we can have that dinner."

"Are you okay, Ed?"

"I'm fine, Oswald. I'll call." He leaves without another word.

Feeling the sting of tears brewing in his eyes.

And there he is again, taller and darker. Everything Edward Nygma should be.

" _Pathetic. Why can't you be stronger?"_

* * *

 It was the following Wednesday, and Edward was stressed.

Oswald had left him again on Friday, and they had argued, and hadn't spoken since. On top of all that he had spent the whole day working with Gordon and Bullock, and he really thought if he didn't get whatever the hell it was he was missing from this fucking case he was going to scream.

_Breathe Edward_

No way, he thought. Of all the voices he needed in his head, Oswald's was not one of them.

Edward had just spent the last two hours in the Forensics Lab, and had gotten no where. Only finding one new thing which probably wasn't even relevant.

All he wanted to do was go into to his office and work, but Gordon and Bullock had invaded it. Wading through his notes and files, probably messing everything up.

_Focus, Edward_

"Shut up, Oswald." he muttered, as he opened his office door.

The first thing that struck him was the smell.

Scotch.

"Find anything useful, Nygma?"

Edward closed the door behind him.

_It is just a scent. It can't do anything to you. Don't be weak._

He cleared his throat, moving behind his desk to rummage through cabinet draws.

"Possibly, I just have to cross reference it. You're drinking?"

"It's almost nine, we are technically off duty." said Jim.

"Why?" grinned Bullock. "Y'want some? Never took you for the type, Nygma."

"No," Edward was suddenly finding it very hard to breathe.

_Of all the things they had to pick why scotch._

"I just need to check my notes and-"

In his haste to move, Edward knocked his mug to the floor, the shattering of the ceramic sounding much louder to him than it should.

_Stay calm. It doesn't matter, they won't think anything of it._

But all Edward could smell was that fucking scotch, and it was like he was ten years old again, and every single thing he had ever tried to block out was flooding back to him, and he couldn't do it because there he was again the other Edward screaming at him to be better, stronger, not weak,

but it wasn't his voice, it was his father, and Ed had to leave, he needed to be better, he-

"I have to go," Edward's voice cracked.

He thought he was going to be sick.

Edward practically sprinted out of the room, leaving Jim and Harvey in a dumbfounded state of,

_("What the fuck just happened?"_

_"Should I follow him?")_

He managed to get himself down to the mortuary, and before he even realised what he was doing, had pulled out his phone and dialled-

"Edward? Is everything alright?"

"Hi, Oswald." he said, attempting to keep his voice steady.

"Are you alright? Has something happened?" Oswald asked nervously.

"No, I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Something's happened. Edward where are you? I'll come and-"

"Oswald, really." interrupted Ed. "It's fine."

"You made it very clear last time we spoke, that you didn't want to hear from me."

"I'm not allowed to change my mind?"

"No, I just." Oswald paused. "You can tell me, if something's bothering you."

"They were drinking scotch."

"What?"

"Bullock and Gordon. It shouldn't bother me this much, but it just reminded me of my father, and, I shouldn't be so bothered by it. I should be stronger."

"You are already one of the strongest people I know, Edward." Oswald's voice was soft, sentimental. Loving.

"Thank you."

"Come home, Ed."

"You mean a great deal to me, Oswald. I hope you know that." Edward paused. "I've missed you."

"Can I expect you at the house later?"

"Yes. As soon as I've finished up, I'll be there. Thank you."

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

There was a moment of silence before Oswald responded. "I missed you too."

He stayed quiet.

"I love you."

Edward cleared his throat, standing up from his seat. "I love you too. I'll see you at home." Then ended the call.

He felt calmer as he made his way back to his office, more reassured. Of course, he'd have to make something up to Jim and Bullock, their voices audible through his office door.

"Think he's coming back?"

"I hope so." Bullock said. "If he hasn't found anything else then I say we call it a day. What got him so spooked anyway?"

"I don't know. He's been acting weird the last couple days. Seems pissed off all the time. You know he got stood up last week?"

Harvey chuckled. "Doesn't surprise me to be honest."

"Apparently was a one year anniversary."

Edward heard Harvey's splutter. "A year?"

"I know. Weird isn't it?"

"How'd you find that one out?" Harvey asked.

"Lee told Kristin, Kristin told me."

"So what you think, his Mrs dumped him and now he's in a mood?"

"I've got no idea." said Jim. "Something scared him, I don't know what."

Edward took this as a good time to enter, and pushed the office door open.

"I'm sorry about before." Edward looked to where his mug had fallen to see the glass had been cleared away. "As I was saying, I thought there may have been a correlation in terms of method, but I haven't found anything concrete."

If Jim was unsatisfied with Edward's reasoning for running off he didn't say so. "Thanks Ed. I suggest we leave it then."

"What?" asked Harvey. "Just wait for the next body to turn up?"

"Possibly." said Edward. "I'll try again tomorrow, but it's likely there is nothing else I can do."

"At least you tried." Jim said, getting to his feat, Harvey following suit. Both exited the room, but Jim turned poked his head back around the door. "Get some rest Ed, you look like you haven't slept in a week."

* * *

"You seem cheerful today, Edward." said Lee.

"I've had a good week." he grinned.

"Worked things out with your mystery women?"

Ed let out a small laugh, eyes down, focused on his notes. "I suppose so yes." It was true that Edward's week had gone well. He'd worked things out with Oswald, work had been relatively easy. Nothing to dampen his spirits

"Will we ever get to meet her?" she asked.

"Maybe." He looked up.

Lee was smiling at him absentmindedly. "I'm glad you're happy, Ed."

* * *

Oswald was kissing him.

_Carefully, meticulously._

As if every kiss he placed had been planned out a million times over.

Edward's palm was pressed flat to the the back of Oswald's neck, holding him in close. Fitting his lips against the other mans, whose tongue was pressing at the seam of Ed's lip. Willingly, he opened his mouth, shivering at the drag of lips before Oswald's tongue slid against his own. He heard the smallest whimper from Oswald, and felt his arms slipping around his waist to pull him closer.

Edward wanted nothing but proximity and entanglement and as their lips met over and over again.

Oswald’s lips left Edward’s, sliding down his cheek to kiss at the hollow beneath his jaw, sucking and biting at his neck. Edward's breath released its self as a stuttering in a gasp as he threw his head back from pure sensation

"The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?" he choked out

Oswald drew back and stared at him in confusion. "What?"

"Footsteps. Someone's coming."

As he rightly predicted, there was a knock at the door only a few moments later.

Olga poked her around the door. "Dinner, ready."

Oswald cleared his throat, and attempted to straighten out his shirt. "Thank you, Olga. Take the rest of the evening off, any cleaning can wait till morning."

"да. Спасибо. Прощай." She nodded and vacated the room.

"Dinner?" asked Edward. "We can, uh, continue this later."

"Of course, you must be starving. You left early this morning, before breakfast."

Ed rose and helped Oswald to his feat. "Yes, something came up and they needed in me for something. How was your day?"

"Oh fine." he said, pushing the door to the dining room open. "The new club should be opening next month, and we'll finally have a base of operations, and the GCPD can't fret."

"Just be careful."

"Aren't I always? Wine?"

"I'll do that," Edward said, gesturing for Oswald to sit. "Rest your leg. Is red okay?"

* * *

It was late by the time Jim had finally arrived at the club. Took some convincing for him even to be let in.

Oswald had done well, he thought, once he had finally been let inside. Once a place thick with cigarette smoke and damp, now thick with the scent of perfume and sickly cocktails. Music filled the air without effort, like the waves filling holes in beach sand. Some react to the music, and others continue in chatter. Despite the jazz, the improved crowd, the sense of something new. It was still a den of debauchery and alcoholism. Where the great unwashed of Gotham came to thrive. No-one came here with anything wholesome in their minds. There was only so much Oswald could pretend.

Jim looked around for anyone familiar.

"Heya baby," a sweet voice said from behind him. "I haven't seen you around here before. Can I help you?"

He turned around, not recognising the women stood in front of him. She was attractive. Her dress hung from her shoulders, hugging her form, her heavily made up eyes, long eyelashes batting at him. Probably, a deliberate choice on Oswald's part. Nothing gets men to do things like a pretty lady.

"I'm looking for your boss."

The lady smiled at him. "Well, sugar. My boss is in his office. But I don't know why you'd wanna talk to him. Has there been a problem with the service we've provided?" She placed a hand on his shoulder, rubbing small circles with her thumb. "Anything I can do to rectify that."

He shrugged her hand away. "Just need to talk to your boss. Tell him Jim Gordon is here."

Her eyes narrowed, her body language tense. "We run an honest place. No need for cops around here."

"I don't doubt that." Jim smiled. "I'm here on business."

"Follow me." Her voice lost it's sweet quality, turning into something rough and authoritative. "Any weapons will be left outside the office."

"Of course." he said, gesturing for her to lead the way.

She took Jim upstairs, through a well lit hallway, to a small seating area, opposite a jet black painted door.

"Knock and wait to be told to enter. Do y'wanna give me your gun, or am I gonna have to search you?"

While Jim felt uneasy about entering a room with 'The Penguin' with no weapon. However, he knew there was way around this, so pulled the gun from his jacket and handed it to her.

She turned and walked away from him, but not before-

"Oh, and honey." she said. "If you are, in need of a good time, just go to the bar and ask for Jackie. Someone will return your items to you back in the front room." Then gave him a wink and continued back down the hallway, leaving Jim alone.

He knocked on the door, a part of him wishing he had just stayed at home.

*But, Oswald owed him a favour. And Jim needed to solve this case.*

"Who is it?"

"Jim Gordon."

He could the sound of footsteps and faint whispers. Two different voices. So quiet he couldn't make out who it was, or any of the conversation.

"Enter!" Oswald's voice called out.

He opened the door, to see Oswald alone, seated behind a desk.  
  
"Jim! Come on in! My dear old friend."

"We need to talk."

"Oh." said Oswald. "Take a seat."

Jim sat down in the chair opposite him. "I need a favour. I figure you owe me one."

"Do I? You know that I'm always happy to help you, Jim, but I don't recall any favours being owed."

"I helped you with Ogden."

"And, I got you your job back." Oswald smiled at him. "While I'd call us even, I'd rather not argue. New leaf and all that."

Jim rolled his eyes. "I need all the information you have on the Falcones."

"Why?" asked Oswald suspiciously.

"Are you going to give me what I need or not?"

"Jim. I know it must be hard to see that Miss Thompkins is now in a relationship with Carmine Falcone's son-"

"How do you know that?" snapped Jim.

"It's my job to know these things."

Oswald sighed, and looked at him strangely. Something that could have almost been mistaken for pity. "Go back downstairs, find Jackie and tell her I'm letting use the backroom, for the Falcone files. I will know if you try to take anything else. Don't overstep."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Jim mumbled.

"Please make notes on what you find, or if you take anything, I want them returned. In the same condition they were at the start."

"Sure thing." Jim rose from his seat and headed towards the door.

"Have a drink on me, old friend!" He did not reply to Oswald before he left, the slamming shut behind him.

"Ed?" called Oswald. "You can come back now, he's left."

Edward poked his head around the door and the other end of the room. "Good." Coming fully into the room and dropping into the seat previously occupied by Jim Gordon.

"You didn't have to run away so quickly when he knocked." said Oswald, scrawling a note on the paper in front of him.

"You're the one who doesn't want anyone knowing about us."

* * *

Oswald was awoken to the sound of choking.

Or coughing.

It sounded more like like tuberculosis patient .

He felt over to the other side of the bed, to feel only an empty space.

Stretching he sat up to see Edward pulling on a shirt, looking positively awful.

"What are you doing, Ed?"

Edward sneezed into a handkerchief. "I need to go into work."

"You're sick." Oswald said plainly.

"I don't get sick," grumbled Ed. "This is a small inconvenience."

Oswald gave him an incredulous look. "Get back into bed Edward, the GCPD can function without you for one day."

"They really can't." Edward moved over to bed and gave Oswald a kiss on the forehead. "I'll be back late, is your leg alright? Do you want me to help you before I go?"

"What I want you to do is get back into bed, and rest."

He ignored this comment. "I'll get Olga to help you."

"Edward, I may not be able to run after you, but I swear I will go to the GCPD and collect you, if you do not sit down."

"Ha. You wouldn't dare. Besides, I'm fine, it's just a cold."

This would have been a lot more convincing on Edward's part, had he not erupted into a coughing fit straight afterwards.

* * *

 "You should really go home, Ed." said Lee.

Edward sneezed before responding. "It's just a cold."

"You are sick, and should be resting. Go, before you infect the whole of the GCPD."

"I need to work." Ed wheezed, attempting to hold down a cough.

"You won't get anything productive done in this state."

* * *

_(meanwhile)_

Oswald was going to get Ed from the GCPD. While he hadn't said to him that he wanted their relationship out in the open, Oswald could tell that he was becoming increasingly frustrated with it. So, Ed would get what he wanted, and Oswald, well, he could have quite a lot of fun in the process. 

The GCPD was as noisy as ever, criminals shouting, the incompetent officers busting around trying to get something done, so, it was quite amusing for Oswald, when he walked in, to see the place come to a complete, silent, standstill. 

Jim spoke first. "Penguin? Why are you here, what's happened?"

Oswald beamed at him, a little brighter than necessary. "Oh nothing, I'm just here to collect someone." He gave Jim a nod and wondered down towards the stairs to the forensics lab. 

* * *

"What the hell just happened?" asked Harvey, staring at the spot Penguin had been in moments before. "Who the hell does he need to see here?"

"Penguin has taken has been taking over a lot of Falcone's business. Maybe he's here for Lee?" Jim paused. "Alvarez you're in charge. Harvey come on." And made his way down the stairs, Harvey following soon after. 

* * *

There was a knock at the door. 

"Come in." Edward called out.

He almost dropped his papers upon seeing Oswald. 

Lee was just as surprised as he was, looking from Oswald to Edward.

"Oswald? What the hell are you doing here?" hissed Edward.

"I did say I'd collect you from work." Oswald smiled at Lee. "Leslie Thompkins, how very nice to see you. I hope my boyfriend hasn't sneezed on you too much."

Lee stayed silent, still staring at Ed.

"Lee could you please give us the room?" asked Edward.

She cleared her throat. "Yes, of course, I'll just be-" She pointed to the door and hurriedly left, leaving Oswald and Edward alone. 

"What are you really doing here, Ossie?"

"I told you, I'm here to take you home."

"And now everyone knows about us."

"I could tell it's what you wanted. I thought this was perfect opportunity to do it."

Edward rolled his eyes. "You're insane."

"Legally, that's not true." 

Ed moved over towards Oswald, wrapping him in a tight hug. "Thank you."

"I love you too, Edward."

"You really shouldn't have come to my place of work."

"I'll buy you something nice to make up for it."

"Are you goddamn kidding me?" a loud booming voice echoed from outside the door. 

"Harvey, be quiet." Lee's voice snapped.

Edward chuckled into Oswald's shoulder. "Ready to go out and cause some trouble."

"Always."

**Author's Note:**

> THIS MAKES NO CANONICAL SENSE. + not betad and written in one go and is probably the worst thing I've ever written. I also spent 15 minute minutes working out whether i should say 'ozzie' or 'ossie'
> 
> if you'd like a playlist about these two check out my 8tracks and playmoss - eriador (or eriador0 on spotify)  
> \+ all Olga was saying was "Yes. Thank you. Goodbye"
> 
> as always my little bumblebees, comments and criticisms are always appreciated


End file.
